I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
