yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
