i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
