Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
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The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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