Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
