saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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