We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
