I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
