i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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