Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
literally had 100 drinks last night.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
