I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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