Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize