He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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