My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
