to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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