I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
