thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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