Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
MIDGETS
????
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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