I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
