SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
