I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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