I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
