did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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