Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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