At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
