I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize