how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
