i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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