im drinking this country out of the recession.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
