YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
