Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize