I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
