I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
