Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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