I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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