ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
