she smelled like a LAN party
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
