waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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