operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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