oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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