Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm passing your future prison.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
