Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
