I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
