you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
