I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
