I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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