Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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