I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
sarcasm needs its own font
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
