what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
