my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
