So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Randomize
