You're my little dorito
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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