cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
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Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
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It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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