I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
