I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
babies were throwing up all over the place
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
