My room smells like vodka and shame
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize