i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
