why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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