what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
