Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
