He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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