shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
