I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
