i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
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Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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