hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
