hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
