walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
