if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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