haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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