They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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